I'm not going to spend anywhere near as much time writing up our predictions as I have done previously. That's because, with just a few hours to go before kick off, no-one's going to read it anyway. And, more importantly, I always get it wrong.

However, it IS a good excuse to stop working for 45 minutes and play FIFA in the office.

So, here's how tonight's two Champs League barnstormers will absolutely definitely go down.

Juventus vs Chelsea

It's going to be really, really exciting this one!

After 12 minutes of cagey midfield ping-pong, a defensive blunder on the part of a Juve defender that commentators will forget to identify will see lanky Chelsea striker Anelka stride through on goal. He'll stroke it home as easily as ever and give Chelsea a huge advantage. Pundits will later blame the defensive slip-up on the fact the manager was taking a sip of his tea and not concentrating properly.

It's all evens for the rest of the half, with lots of missed chances and wavy arms from the respective managers. In fact, both managers get told to keep it down by the Pogo team in the next stadium along at one point.

But the second half gets under way with another goal for the Blues. Michael Ballack, just as he always, ALWAYS does when Andy takes a corner with Chelsea, gets his head on the ball to nut it home on 49 minutes. Pressure's on for Juve now, but they respond in style.

The Italian visitors wrest control of the game away from the home team for the rest of the half, and come up trumps with two goals close to the final whistle. A wonderful jinking run from Amauri ends with a fierce strike at goal, which is parried by Cech in the Chelsea goal. The rebound, however, it headed home by Camoranesi. On 88 minutes, Camoranesi strikes again with a corker of a left-footed strike from outside the box.

A brilliant game ends 2-2, which will please Chelsea fans, whose 1-0 win in the first leg sees them through to the next round.

Liverpool vs Real Madrid

Liverpool are likely to field more Spanish players than Real Madrid again in this one, but will they be able to resist the tide without their first-leg hero Yossi Benayoun (hamstring)?

Well, yes.

It's as tense an affair as ever for the Reds, who resist a barrage of attacks in the first half. Fernando Torres starts for Liverpool, mainly because the manager looked at his star striker's adidas Live Season rating of 95 and thought that outweighed his piffling little ankle injury. But Torres is restricted to long shots and half chances for most of the half - until the 38th minute, when an optimistic lobbed through ball lands at his sticky feet to send him one-one-one with the keeper. He doesn't miss.

Real manager Andy Ramos huffs and moans at his misfortune as the half-time whistle goes, and rightly so. Real dominated proceedings and should be ahead by more than a few.

The second half sees events unfold in much the same way. Last ditch tackles and overzealous trigger fingers on the part of attackers are all that holds the Spanish side at bay. And then comes the sucker punch. In the last minute of the game, excellent work by Gerrard on the left wing culminates with a tantalising out-swinging cross. As two defenders look to block the ball's flight to the head of a waiting Torres, Dirk Kuyt charges into the box and executes a dramatic diving header to blast the ball home from about, ooh, three centimetres.

The result: 2-0. It wasn't deserved, but the Merseysiders will be happy enough with a win ahead of their game against arch rivals Manchester United at the weekend.